Writers Block And Social Anxiety

Not really sure what to write about today so will just have a bit of a ramble about what I got up to over the past few days, and just generally how I feel.

At the moment I feel pretty tired and a bit down, played football earlier at the 5aside league I play in (nothing serious) and lost about 5-2, was pretty demoralizing. I think that having SA I’m really critical with regards to my own performance when I play football, I think its probably fair to say over-critical. Whereas most normal people would tend to remember the good things that they contributed with during a match, I tend to just remember all the bad things. I guess that sums of Social Anxiety Disorder really – a bit of a vicious cycle at times. Anyway I think I’m over it hopefully and will try to forget about it, is just a game after all :)

At the weekend I was pretty busy which made a nice change, even if I was just with my family (not knocking being with my family at all, its just that sometimes its nice to get the feeling that you are independent and go out and do your own things). I spent Saturday digging at the allotment (about 4 hours) and was pretty achey after that – not used to manual labour! And then spent about 2 hours at the allotment digging the next day, also walked the dog a few times and went to have a look at some land with my parents that I was kinda interested in investing in, until I discovered it was pretty much just a boggy field full of ducks :-/

Today I felt like I had writers block to be honest, don’t want to sound too posh or make it out that I am some kind of writer, I just felt like I was at a bit of a dead-end at couldn’t think what to do with myself. I spent a bit of time adding to some of my websites and blogs, chatting on MSN (as usual), and that was about it. I’ve always got loads of ideas regarding work, just not often have the energy to go through with them. Really need to get myself earning money again though, feel like I’m just hanging around at home right now and not actually making money like I used to.

Anyway apologies that this wasn’t very SA related again today, just not much else to report on that front at the moment. Still thinking of going to the doctors, still thinking of biting the bullet and trying to go travelling, still not sure what I’ll decide. Feel like I’m just waiting for something to happen, but I’ve been waiting ages and nothings happened yet so I think I know its up to me to make it happen really…