Ever Get The Feeling That You Are Wasting Your Life?

I don’t mean to sound depressed or too negative in my post today, but sometimes I do really feel that I’m wasting my life :(
Its frustrating too because I’m aware that I am wasting it… and yet I’ve not got the guts or motivation to get out and change it and do something about it. Social anxiety disorder holds me back from having a proper life at times, and feel like it holds me back from getting help. I’m thinking that I should just stop being a chicken about the whole thing, bite the bullet and try and get some help about it.

In some ways I feel happy with the work side of my life though. I enjoy what I do and I feel it suits me quite well in my current situation. However I would love to have my own office or work from home (from my own home, not my parents I mean). I’ve heard of people who do the work I do whilst travelling around the world – I think that would be amazing! I think that has to be one of my targets, one of my goals. Get over social anxiety and travel around the world. Working on the side when I can, or just enjoying myself a bit :)

I’ve thought about moving out of my house and renting somewhere but I’m not sure how clever that would be, financially and personally. I mean, I would probably be even more isolated living on my own, although I would be more independent – I would have to be otherwise I wouldn’t survive, lol. I would enjoy that side of things, which currently my parents take care of for me (shopping, cooking etc). But if I’m still going to work from the rented place then I will just be doing the same old thing, except with no family with me (and having to pay huge figures to rent). Also I hate the idea of renting a property, it just feels like a way of burning your money. I’d much rather get a mortgage and get my own place, but that would be a big commitment.
I’ve also thought about renting an office to work from. I think it would make my job seem more normal and more 9 – 5, and more social. But then if its just going to be me in an office on my own again, I’m not sure how worthwhile it will be. I know it will make me so much more productive (I waste too much time on MSN and on the internet in general) and so I’d probably be doing a lot of work if I did. But I don’t know if this is just a bit of a waste of money. Perhaps if I had a better balance of a work and social life at home then I wouldn’t have any issues.

Sorry if this has been a bit of a rant post, and not very social anxiety disorder related. I guess I’m finding it a bit hard regarding which direction I want to go in. Ideally I would go travelling and work on the move, but I’m not too sure if I have the guts to do this by myself, especially because of the SA. But I know something has got to change, because I realise I’m not making the most of my life at the moment…