Hey guys.. as always, I'm sorry that I suck so bad at keeping this blog updated. I really really will try harder from now on. Whenever I've thought about updating the blog I've always been put off as I couldn't really see what benefits it had. I think my problem was that as I run quite a few websites with the aim of making money, I had plans to do the same on this site too - it just seems to be a natural thing to do with a blog in my eyes. But I realise that it shouldn't be about money when it comes to social anxiety disorder. I should be using this blog solely as a place to vent my feelings and to try and help out other anxiety sufferers, so this is really what I need to start doing from now on.
So its been about 9 months since my last post here... its been quite a busy time and generally with me thats a very good thing. I've discovered that whenever I have too much time on my hands, or am by myself for long periods, basically whenever I'm bored and such, I seem to always feel down and depressed. I find by keeping active and keeping busy this is the best way to stop myself from feeling depressed, and even with regards to some of the social anxiety if I don't have time to stop and think about things then all the better - I just get ahead and do them without worrying. Its when I have the time to worry and listen to the thoughts in my head that I start to over-think things and then feel anxious.
In the time since my last post on the blog I've managed to complete my first year of college - which I managed around mid July, and I later found out that I passed my first year which I was really pleased about. I had to take a few exams and I've never been keen on revising but I actually enjoyed a lot of it this time around, and still passed without doing loads of revision - definitely a plus! The revision and exams were all tough but it actually felt like I'd learned more in those 2 or 3 weeks then I'd learned in the whole year of college... I don't know if thats a good or bad thing, I know I enjoyed it, but I think I need to apply myself a lot more next year if I want to get a good grade. Its just a 2 year course after all, so I'm going to try my best to knuckle down. I need to sort myself out an agenda so I can balance my work and my study, with an emphasis on the study.
When college finished I was left with a gap from mid June up until around the 20th of September - about a 3 month gap, which caused a bit of a dilema as I pretty much had nothing at all planned for summer, and really didn't fancy the prospect of just hanging around for that whole time - I was going to get so bored, and therefore so depressed and fed up! Luckily my housemate was in the same situation as me, and we're both really good mates with similar interests and so we decided to take massive risks (well, massive in terms for us), and do a bit of travelling. So we ended up spending nearly 2 months in places around the mediterranean and had an amazing time! It was definitely one of the best things I've ever done, and at one place we went to we did some volunteering at a camp and met so many amazing people from all over the world - one of the best things about being away. I was still shy and awkward at times but I still loved it all and have definitely got the travel bug so will be looking at doing this again, maybe after I've finished college! I think this may be worthy of a blog post in itself so I'll consider writing up a bit about my travels in more detail later on...