Blog update

Right, this is the second attempt at updating the blog. I tried a few days ago but my post disappeared, was quite lengthy so I was pretty annoyed! As you may have noticed, I've not posted here since about October 2009 - over a year ago. A fair bit has gone on since then, I do still have my social anxiety but I'm pretty much trying to get on with things and to not dwell on it. I'm going to try and spend some time in the near future reading more social anxiety help books and general depression support books, just because I do still suffer from the anxiety, but I also find that keeping myself busy is probably one of the best ways to cope, and I've been pretty busy recently.

I'm not completely sure why I've not updated the blog in so long, I can hazard a guess that it was because I'm pretty lazy at times... I don't think many/any people read the blog so I wasn't really convinced theres much point making these posts, but I'm hoping if I try and post more regularly that might change. Looking at the date of the last post which was October 09, that was quite a stressful period. I'm a bit worried about going into detail here because of incase someone finds out who I am by reading this, I mean if a friend happens to stumble upon this site. But I think I may be being quite paranoid as that situation is likely to actually happen. So anyway, the event which caused me quite a bit of stress and worry was when I got in a bit of trouble with the police. I was on a night out with friends, I drank way too much, and ended up in a fight and getting arrested. I had to go to court, where I pleaded guilty to the assault, and then was given a curfew as my punishment (and small fine).

Its not really the first time I've acted stupidly, and anytime that I have done anything like this it has been when I am drunk. I never ever start trouble or go looking for trouble but if someone does something to me when I'm drunk then its very unlikely that I'll just let them get away with it, I guess its because I know I let people get away with all sorts when I'm sober as I lack the confidence to stand up for myself... and when I'm drunk I have that confidence and I want to use it. But anyway thats my own "analysis" of myself, and so I've tried to avoid getting drunk ever since. I'll only ever drink again when I feel that I am not going to act silly, when I feel less anxious etc.

Usually when I go out clubbing with friends I feel that I have to drink a lot to get over my anxiety, I would never ever dance or anything like that if I was sober, so I tend to avoid going clubbing at this moment in my life. It gets quite awkard trying to avoid it though, as I'll probably explain in a blog post later... When I was out at the night that I got in trouble I drank a stupid amount, I don't know if this is anything to do with the social anxiety but when I'm drunk I don't know my limits and just keep on drinking - most people feel drunk and stop, because they don't need to drink more.

When I was told I would have to go to court because of the assault you can imagine I was pretty worried and very anxious. I was scared at the thought of what might happen to me as my punishment, and scared at the thought of going to court. I didn't cope or deal with it well at the time, and failed to speak to my family about it, who are always really supportive. I ended up telling my mum about it on the day of the court date, and then she ended up turning up at the court for my hearing.

In the interview after being arrested I mentioned my social anxiety as I thought if it could help me at all then I'd be silly not to mention it. I explained that I feel I have to drink quite a bit to stop feeling my anxiety, and I'm not sure whether or not it helped but I was desperate and was scared at the time, thinking I could end up going to prison. In court they mentioned my social anxiety, which is the first my mum had ever heard of it, so this wasn't the ideal circumstances for her to find out! But in a way I was glad she knew, but the reason I didn't tell her about me getting into trouble, or my anxiety, is because I think she's a bit of a worrier like me, and I didn't see why anyone else should have to suffer my own issues. That might sound a bit strange but its just the way I feel really, that its my problem and that I should have to deal with it - I was stupid enough to get in trouble in the first place, so I should have to suffer the consequences. I also realise the saying its good to talk, and that its not healthy to keep things inside or to yourself, so maybe this is something that I need to work on as well.

Anyway, I was given the curfew for what happened, which I thought was pretty ridiculous seeming as I'm not exactly a repeat offender and that I'm not exactly a menace to society. Also the fact that my social anxiety was brought up in court, you'd have thought they wouldn't have given me an excuse to stay indoors! But thats the criminal law system for you, I was glad to get what I got as I realise it could have been worse. I used the time to try and get more work done, and carried on with my CBT stuff. The court or police didn't offer any sort of advice regarding the anxiety, I thought it would have been nice if they did, or whether they said anything about consuming too much alcohol, or suggested some sort of counselling to stop me from acting the way I did. Not saying any of that would have helped, its just that so many people behave in this way, and by giving them a curfew I don't think that will exactly deal with the problem in the long run.

I think this post has probably digressed somewhat from what I had in mind, but its updated a fair chunk of the past year or so. From December until April 2010 I had my curfew, so I'll try and update the other parts of the year in some future posts on the blog. Appreciate any reads/comments from anyone, thanks!

The Meaning Of Social Anxiety Disorder

The term "social anxiety" is a general term that is applied to feelings of apprehension and fear in social situations. A person with this mental disorder may have a certain amount of uneasiness around others, be it strangers or those familiar to them. A certain amount of it is a normal part of a child psychosocial development.

Social anxiety can take many different forms. Examples of it include being afraid of public speaking, performance anxiety, shyness, stage fright. Given these examples, it seems some level of social phobia exists in each of us. The anxiety most certainly exists on a continuum for every one...ranging from small amounts of timidity to debilitating clinical phobias.

Social anxiety that continues and worsens during adolescence and early adulthood may be a sign of Social Anxiety Disorder, or also known as Social Phobia. It is specifically difficult to diagnose given the generality of normal anxieties in most everyone. The credibility of it being a "disorder" has even been challenged by some professionals. The American Psychological Association has, however, included it in their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders since the 1980 version. Although some argue about the relevancy and specificity of the diagnostic criteria, it is generally agreed that the descriptive definition and criteria are improving with each revision of the highly revered and noted publication.

Diagnostic criteria for social anxiety in children require that the symptoms of the disorder be present for a minimum of six months time. For adult, it does not have to be present that long to be clinically diagnosed, but a differential diagnosis will be made from patient reports of intense fear of being in social situations, fear of being judged, worry about being humiliated, fear that others will see that you are anxious, panic attacks, and developing avoidance of situations where one will have to speak to people or be the center of attention.

Clinical levels of this disorder can be reclassified into one of two sub categories, General Social Phobia and Specific Social Phobias. The more general the symptoms and triggers, the more likely that the disorder will fit in the former category. Just as one can have a wide sweeping array of general social phobias, one can exhibit extreme social phobias about specific instances-riding in elevators, speaking on the telephone, or being in a crowded shopping mall are all examples of specific social phobias.

There are numerous treatments for those with extreme levels of social anxiety disorder. These include cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, talk therapy, and behavioral therapy. These types of treatments can be used successfully alone or as a repertoire of therapeutic treatments. Whatever the case, it is important that one recognizes the anxiety and seeks help before the phobias begin to take over your life. Untreated it can be a debilitating and troublesome condition for adolescents and adults. Seeking treatment is the first step towards successful rehabilitation and the ability to face your fears head on.

Suffering From Social Anxiety

Are you suffering from social anxiety disorder and fed up with visiting different therapists? Or, worse, scared to go to see a therapist? What can you do from the security of your own residence that may help you to work on your inner feelings, ideology and emotions, so enabling you to have the inner confidence to get out there among others, feeling cushty in your own skin?

Social stress Disorder has been handed a lot more attention by the medical profession in the last ten years. If you be afflicted by it, you know what it feels like and how it has effects on each area of your life. It causes considerable trouble and pain as the subject worries about what other folks may think about them. This fear of being judged and fear of becoming embarrassed can be extremely devitalizing. For some this fear is only experienced in certain circumstances, with certain triggers, maybe only when in the area of "people in authority". For others it may be sure places which act as the trigger to their inner chaos ; perhaps a weekly essential trip to the supermarket or simply having to stroll down the road is sufficient to get palms sweating and heart palpitating. For some, just the concept of having to leave the house will set this uncomfortable ball rolling.

The myriad evidence of social anxiety could be caused by exact fact or merely expectation of something which might or might not occur. In both cases, the symptoms experienced are similarly real. Whether the stress experienced is generalized or more express it's still terribly uncomfortable and devitalizing for the subject. The majority have major difficulty in their search to conquer it. This isn't surprising because as you concentrate on attempting to overcome social anxiety you unavoidably spend more time considering it, and what you concentrate on has a tendency to become "bigger" in your mind and thus in your life too. This is a central aspect of how your mind works. Consider it for a second. If you are brooding about purchasing a specific vehicle, for example, maybe a BMW or Lexus, you may all of a sudden become mindful of each automobile that you see which fits that outline.

All of a sudden there appear to be so many more BMW or Lexus automobiles on the road! Another "thing" which your mind does all the time, without fail, is if you try and not do something, you'll have an overpowering instinct to do precisely that which you are trying not to do. Try as hard as you can for an instant to NOT see a giraffe...What happened? Did you see a long neck, by any chance?! Applying this to your try to overcome social anxiety disorder will help you to appreciate why the task can be so hard. The more that you give it some thought the more it occurs, and the more that you try and not consider it the more it occurs as well. Added to this you have no idea why you "got it" in the 1st place. There'll be a reason why.

A symptom does not happen without cause, although you are most likely ignorant at a conscious level of what that cause might be. Your subconscious mind will however know what the cause is and has made these patterns of behavior which you no longer want to have.

How are you able to go about changing these subconscious patterns of feelings and behavior? A trip to your local analytical hypnotherapist ( please check for the one with the top level of applicable credentials and the most experienced ) will show you ways to relax in hypnosis, so accessing the workings of your inner mind, your subconscious, and then steer you to uncoil the springs of cause and effect which led straight to these symptoms being experienced. This may help you to grasp why it all occurred and will relieve plenty of the stress experienced.

But you are probably going to still need a specific quantity of mind re-training for you to feel totally cushty in social scenarios. It is a little like you know you no longer need to feel a bit like "that"...but you do not know how you should be expecting to feel either. It can feel just like you are in "limbo".

Hypnosis downloads are incredibly useful in coaching your brain to expect to feel as you would like to feel. They are cheap ( a major bonus in the present environment ), straightforward to use and fast to work.

You actually can learn an entire host of psychological talents which will permit you to feel cosy in each situation which you can encounter. I made my "complete confidence program" of hypnosis downloads for this very reason - to enable everybody to have access to learning all of the psychological talents wanted to be assured in life at terribly tiny cost.

Avoiding Embarrassment

If embarrassment is keeping you from advancing in your career or maintaining private relations, there are many paths to beat bashfulness and become the outgoing person you want to be.

List your good qualities and luxuriate in the fact that you have many good points that will help you overcome your embarrassment problem.

Pick one thing you would like to change about yourself and concentrate on that one thing till you achieve success in making positive changes. Methodically working with one issue at a time will help you become the person you need to be and overcome your bashfulness. It could be an easy thing like making eye contact with the clerk at your local greengrocer or striking up a conversation with a stranger on the bus. These are some helpful recommendations and concepts that will help you overcome embarrassment and talk up when you must to realize your goals. The things that are of the most help to some shy folks will not work as well for others. Random test and a wish to succeed are the keys to finding what works best for you. Following some easy embarrassment tips can be extremely advantageous to you in your search to triumph over bashfulness. If you suffer from extreme embarrassment, a good bashfulness tip is to elucidate the difficulty to those you run into on a constant basis. Folk have a tendency to be extraordinarily understanding and useful if you explain the difficulty in a way that simply lets them know you are shy, and not in a way engineered to gain sympathy.

There are many methods to beat embarrassment and not every idea or idea will work for everybody.

Find the tools that are the most useful to you personally and use these tools to the best of your capability. Begin gently and make little changes each step of the way. You'll be able to see your progress with each negative personality mark you change into a positive one.

Social Anxiety Disorder Blog - Update

Sorry about the poor blog title, not really in a very intelligent mood and am unable to think what to write about really, so this is just an update for the past few days. Apologies again for the lack of activity on the blog too, I guess the blog could be suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder too ;)

The reason I’ve not really posted much is simply that I’ve been a bit busy. Either with football, work, and seeing my girlfriend :) Have spent quite a few evenings with her and I usually only update the blog in the evening so its hard to find time to post. I find it hard updating the blog during the day because I find it hard to get in the right mood to post – at night time I can just go on my laptop in bed and am in a more comfortable and relaxed setting.

I don’t really have too much else to report, Social Anxiety related anyway. It was my birthday a few days ago and I didn’t really do anything to celebrate, don’t see why I should bother going out with my friends because I never go out with them so I don’t see why it should make a difference just because its my birthday.

I’ve been out places a few times recently but nothing major, most the time when I see my girlfriend she comes here which is fine by me and she’s fine with it too but hopefully I’ll be able to go more places with her now, and I’ll have some motivation to actually go somewhere – I might drive to meet her somewhere when usually I wouldn’t have had a reason to go to that place, or anyplace either, and so I probably wouldn’t have bothered/would have been scared to.

Will hopefully start posting more often and some more interesting news on the blog soon!

Another Update In My Rather Uninteresting Social Anxiety Blog!

Not done much again recently just the usual! Drove to a local cinema place which was nice, usually I’m a bit scared as its about 15 mins by car and I went a route I’ve never really been before so it felt nice, usually I get really anxious about driving somewhere I’ve never been before so it felt as if I was conquering my social anxiety disorder somewhat :) I met up with a friend and had a bit of a chat which was nice, was a different way to spend the evening at least (usually sat in front of the TV or the computer!).

Yesterday I had football and because one of my friends wasn’t playing I couldn’t really rely on a lift, so I drove instead. I could’ve tried to get a lift from another friend or something, but I thought I should give it a go and it was fine, no embarrassing moments… well, there was one lol but thankfully the car park was pretty empty – I pulled up in a space in the middle of the car park, forgetting it was kind of on a slight hill, and thought I had done everything (lights off, wipers off, etc) and was having a drink from my water bottle and something caught my eye which startled me very slightly… the car was rolling down hill lol. Thankfully there were no cars around to crash into, and I’m pretty sure no-one saw so I was quite lucky lol. Its sometimes funny though, as in my mind thats one of the things I can imagine happening to me when I go somewhere (and hundreds of people witnessing it, and me going a very bright red colour and wishing I could crawl under a rock and die) yet when it did happen I can just laugh it off :) Sometimes I think people with Social Anxiety Disorder think about things way too much and worry when actually when stuff like that does happen it can be pretty funny, and a nice little story to tell people :) (granted, mine wasn’t that funny or interesting but still).

At football we lost pretty bad but we were playing a team from the league above and we were a man short. I got fouled and now my leg and hip is really painful which is quite annoying. Today I’ve just been doing some work on the computer and not a lot else. Still desperate to go away travelling but seeming to find it hard to find someone as interested as me. I’m thinking that maybe I should try and find someone who has social anxiety disorder who might be interested in doing it with me – maybe they will be more likely to do it, and might agree that its a way out of their shyness.

Is It Better To Have Lived And Lost Then To Have Never Lived At All?

Sorry for the lack of updates recently, not really been in the mood to write on the blog. That’s not to say that I’ve been feeling down or anything, just sometimes find I need to be in the right frame of mind to write anything on here, I guess its a combination of that and being lazy :p

Haven’t done toooo much recently, played football in some kind of freak weather storm the other day, was completely soaked through but I kind of don’t mind being out and doing stuff when the weather is a bit mental. Kind of makes me feel like people aren’t as interested in you, they are more busy trying to avoid the rain or something. It was the same when it was snowing as well, found that people were generally more happy and relaxed when the snow was around. Yesterday I went to a friends house which was nice, even though he only really asked me other because he had trouble with his Internet and knows I’m a bit of a geek! I couldn’t fix it but was nice to get out and stuff. Was annoying because was hoping to drive (don’t really drive much so is good when I do, both for my confidence and for the car lol) but it had a flat battery again (due to my neglect no doubt) and so had to walk. Usually I’d be quite annoyed if I felt someone was using me, but in this case I wasn’t too fussed because he’s invited me over before lots and I usually don’t bother as I find I get a bit bored. That’s not me being rude at all though, I think its my own fault that I get bored – I don’t tend to talk much and so it does get boring just sitting around watching TV. I think if I didn’t have my social anxiety disorder then I would have enjoyed being around my friends more and they would probably enjoy my company more. Today was quite a busy day although I was in the most of it – I was doing some mushroom work which ended up taking hours and also I did my weekly exercise routine :)

I’ve still got an itch to get away and go travelling, I don’t think its ever going to go away until I’ve actually been and done it. I’m pretty sure it could get rid of my social anxiety disorder due to making me more confident and independent. I hope I’m not going on about it too much or dreaming something that’s never going to happen. Or I hope that I don’t end up going and just being a bit of a recluse in a different country! Anyway I know its better to have no regrets so its something I know I will do. The only thing that is holding me back right now is someone to go with. I know people do go alone and they recommend it, but I just don’t think I can on my own. I want to find someone to go with me, not a friend but someone else who wants to travel. That’s what I’m trying to do at the moment, when I’ve found someone to go with then I’ll be ready! This was kind of what my blog title was about btw – is it better to have lived and lost then to have never lived at all… I was just thinking how I could live like I currently do and live until I’m 80 or whatever and have a not so enjoyable life, or I could live an amazing outgoing life and be hit by a bus crossing the road and die when I’m 30. I’m just thinking how its better to have lived a happy and exciting life then to have worried about things so much and never really found happiness. Will update the blog a bit sooner next time hopefully!