I Suck At Updating My Social Anxiety Blog!

Hey guys.. as always, I'm sorry that I suck so bad at keeping this blog updated. I really really will try harder from now on. Whenever I've thought about updating the blog I've always been put off as I couldn't really see what benefits it had. I think my problem was that as I run quite a few websites with the aim of making money, I had plans to do the same on this site too - it just seems to be a natural thing to do with a blog in my eyes. But I realise that it shouldn't be about money when it comes to social anxiety disorder. I should be using this blog solely as a place to vent my feelings and to try and help out other anxiety sufferers, so this is really what I need to start doing from now on.

So its been about 9 months since my last post here... its been quite a busy time and generally with me thats a very good thing. I've discovered that whenever I have too much time on my hands, or am by myself for long periods, basically whenever I'm bored and such, I seem to always feel down and depressed. I find by keeping active and keeping busy this is the best way to stop myself from feeling depressed, and even with regards to some of the social anxiety if I don't have time to stop and think about things then all the better - I just get ahead and do them without worrying. Its when I have the time to worry and listen to the thoughts in my head that I start to over-think things and then feel anxious.

In the time since my last post on the blog I've managed to complete my first year of college - which I managed around mid July, and I later found out that I passed my first year which I was really pleased about. I had to take a few exams and I've never been keen on revising but I actually enjoyed a lot of it this time around, and still passed without doing loads of revision - definitely a plus! The revision and exams were all tough but it actually felt like I'd learned more in those 2 or 3 weeks then I'd learned in the whole year of college... I don't know if thats a good or bad thing, I know I enjoyed it, but I think I need to apply myself a lot more next year if I want to get a good grade. Its just a 2 year course after all, so I'm going to try my best to knuckle down. I need to sort myself out an agenda so I can balance my work and my study, with an emphasis on the study.

When college finished I was left with a gap from mid June up until around the 20th of September - about a 3 month gap, which caused a bit of a dilema as I pretty much had nothing at all planned for summer, and really didn't fancy the prospect of just hanging around for that whole time - I was going to get so bored, and therefore so depressed and fed up! Luckily my housemate was in the same situation as me, and we're both really good mates with similar interests and so we decided to take massive risks (well, massive in terms for us), and do a bit of travelling. So we ended up spending nearly 2 months in places around the mediterranean and had an amazing time! It was definitely one of the best things I've ever done, and at one place we went to we did some volunteering at a camp and met so many amazing people from all over the world - one of the best things about being away. I was still shy and awkward at times but I still loved it all and have definitely got the travel bug so will be looking at doing this again, maybe after I've finished college! I think this may be worthy of a blog post in itself so I'll consider writing up a bit about my travels in more detail later on...

Social Anxiety Disorder Blog - Update

Sorry about the poor blog title, not really in a very intelligent mood and am unable to think what to write about really, so this is just an update for the past few days. Apologies again for the lack of activity on the blog too, I guess the blog could be suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder too ;)

The reason I’ve not really posted much is simply that I’ve been a bit busy. Either with football, work, and seeing my girlfriend :) Have spent quite a few evenings with her and I usually only update the blog in the evening so its hard to find time to post. I find it hard updating the blog during the day because I find it hard to get in the right mood to post – at night time I can just go on my laptop in bed and am in a more comfortable and relaxed setting.

I don’t really have too much else to report, Social Anxiety related anyway. It was my birthday a few days ago and I didn’t really do anything to celebrate, don’t see why I should bother going out with my friends because I never go out with them so I don’t see why it should make a difference just because its my birthday.

I’ve been out places a few times recently but nothing major, most the time when I see my girlfriend she comes here which is fine by me and she’s fine with it too but hopefully I’ll be able to go more places with her now, and I’ll have some motivation to actually go somewhere – I might drive to meet her somewhere when usually I wouldn’t have had a reason to go to that place, or anyplace either, and so I probably wouldn’t have bothered/would have been scared to.

Will hopefully start posting more often and some more interesting news on the blog soon!

Exercise Is A Good, Free Way To Make Yourself Feel Better

Not much to report really for the past few days, was quite nice because I played football with my friends (played Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday so far this week) and today I did some more exercise too. Think I’ve probably mentioned this before on the forum, but exercise is a good way of making yourself feel happy – when you exercise your body releases chemicals which make yourself feel “better” (sorry, that’s about as technical as my explanations go at the moment :p). But anyway, if you’re feeling depressed or bored then I find exercise is an excellent and free way of perking yourself up a little. Perhaps by going for a jog around your local area (perhaps a quiet forest or something – I hate jogging around the roads, don’t like to be watched whilst jogging!).

I’ve enjoyed playing football with my friends recently but I do still find that I’m not overly happy and feel at times as if my SAD holds me back. I realise that if you want to be a good footballer you need to get involved and talk more and shout for the ball etc, which I usually find quite hard. Not sure if its me being shy or my Social Anxiety or something, just don’t really feel that comfortable doing it around my friends. I think if I’m playing in a match and I’m playing people I don’t know, and my team are talking to each other then I’ll find it easier to call for the ball etc. But if I’m playing with friends then I find it hard because it feels like they all know me as being shy/quiet, and so if I suddenly started being more vocal they might be a bit shocked. I guess I’m worried I’ll stand out, which is something you don’t like when you have Social Anxiety Disorder…

Also been quite busy with my work and setting up new websites and such, not got a lot planned for Friday or the weekend unfortunately. Trying to find a way of getting new friends as well, my other friends like to go clubbing and drinking and that’s not really something I enjoy (clubbing at least :p), and I don’t like having to get drunk to enjoy myself. Rather find something else to do, but I find it hard meeting new people. Anyway that’s a topic for another day so will update this during the weekend probably.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Welcome to the first post of my blog all about social anxiety disorder.